Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Today I Am

131.5 lbs again, Hooray. This time maybe I wont regain a little. Im aiming for 131 lbs tomorrow... Maybe 130.5 ???? Haha Lets hope so.

Intake so far today: 113 cals.

Im feeling a little lonely. My parents are away and dont really have a signal so cant talk to them... I saw some friends for a few hours earlier.. I wish I could drive, Im a little stranded here.

I have spent the last 2 hours in the bath passing the time... Oh also I burnt 180 cals on the treadmill. the sweat was literally DRIPPING from me. Felt lushhhhh lol.

This guy I used to like is home from uni. He rang me when I was in the bath and said he was coming over so im kinda just sat waiting for him to come over and hoping it wont be really strange and awkward with just the 2 of us :/

Points For Today: 9

Points For Today


So this week I am doing:
Monday 500
Tuesday 400
Wednesday 300
Thursday 200
Friday 100

Thats the plan anyways.

Monday, 29 June 2009

I gained half a lb since yesterday. I am now back up to 132.5lbs. Bad times :( BUT I will lose it. My goal is 128 by Sunday.. Maybe a little ambitious? We'll see I guess...

Thanks to those who commented on my post last night. It means so much that I have support on here.

I am feeling very down today.
Every week the same. Come home and tears. Good or bad, always end in tears for me. Cry to sleep no matter. It hurts so much. It was more bad than good tonight. Gets me down. Really down :'(

And there is nothing and no one to comfort me.

I ate a tin of custard. It is no good.

I am all alone. Meh always really.

Friday, 26 June 2009

131.5 lbs

Haha... Very Happy I Am Down A Pound :)

I was so hungry again yesterday. I kept snacking on Ryvita and made myself sick on Diet Coke blehh.. And I was craving sweet stuff sooooooooo bad, but resisted, and very glad I did :D

Now I need to keep this weight going down. I am so afraid that I will regain over the weekend. It often happens :/ I think what the hell Im so hungry, and hey, its Friday/Saturday/Sunday so it doesnt count - But EVERY DAY COUNTS. I need to lose. I feel so good to be this light again :) Mustnt Fuck Up.

Points For Yesterday: 11

Thursday, 25 June 2009

I am still 132.5 lbs. Which is GOOD, I did not gain. Hoorayyyy :) And I was so worried I would.

But, I need to lose. I burned off 181 cals on the treadmill. I am pleased with myself because I really really really didnt want to, I hate exercise :( But I forced myself. And now I feel much better for it. I have to remember this feeling. The feeling of goodness after working out. Fitness. Achievement. AND I need to keep in mind that this will make me thin. I wont get thin sitting on my ass all day.

Points For Yesterday: -2 (I went over my limit)

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

I dont know how many cals I have had today. TOO MANY. I havent binged or anything which is good BUT I have eaten too much. Way more that 200 cals like I planned.

I have eaten:
a banana
a bowl of muesli
a piece of toast
and a slice of ham.

600 cals maybe.. or am I being too optimistic?! Oh what the hell does it even matter?! ITS TOO MUCH. I hope Im not over 133 tomorrow, I cant ever let myself go over that again :(

I Am So Hungry Today :/

Its 5.30pm and Ive had a banana today, and some jam :/
I plan to have a bowl of porridge later, only 98cals. Made with water of course.
I have had loads of diet coke too because we dont have water right now.
I feel huge. I shouldnt feel this big and heavy after eating so little :(
But it feels like I have eaten loads, like I am out of control. WTF?!
Must stop a binge coming on.

-0.5 lb

Since Yesterday.

This weight is coming off s l o w l y . . . I really need to exercise more, I would lose more then I know it.

My goal weight for Sunday is 132lbs, and at the moment I am 132.5lbs, so lets see if I cant reach 130... Come Onnnnnnnn!

Tuesday, 23 June 2009


Intake: 300/300


Weight Loss Competition
Exercise: 3
Water: 8
Other: 2
TOTAL: 13 points

I hope hope hope I am below 133 tomorrow... Pleeeeeeeeease Ana.

133 lbs

Thats 9 and 1/2 Stone :)

Haha, how many times have I been here over the past 6 months. This time the numbers keep going down, they MUST. I never want to see anything above 9st 7lb ever again.

Im off to town for a few hours now.. When I finally get dressed !! xXx

Monday, 22 June 2009


Intake: 400/400

Weight Loss Competition
Water: 8
Other: 2
TOTAL: 10 points

Im thinking I may go to town tomorrow on the train. Walk to the train station and back, thats about half hour exercise. Then go for a run in the evening I think. Or maybe I will go to town Wednesday. Im not sure.. One day this week.


Well, I came second in the weight loss competition this week :) Very happy about that!!
Today I am 134lbs.
I feel up and down, sad and not sad, just.. meh really.
I need cheering up really.
I cant stop thinking, I am my own worst enemy.
I dont know whether I am more upset about giving it away, or because they will never know how much it meant to me. Or how much I love them. And how it will always hurt that they dont feel the same. And how I dont think I will ever get over them.

I feel embarrassed. However good I am at anything, I will never be good enough.

And there is no food that can comfort me.
So why eat.

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Points From Yesterday

-2. How bad is that? :(
So, total so far this week: 38.
Not so great.

Yesterday I fucked up bad. My weight today is 135lbs, I gained 1.5lbs. Could be worse. Im determined to be 134lbs tomorrow. That will be over my weekly goal :)

Next week I need to up the anti... Exercise more. Bad times.

Tomorrow I have to have a meal with my family for Fathers Day, dont know what yet. Will just have to eat little as I can.. Then Monday back on ABC.. 400 cos I fucked that up yesterday, and this weekend is going to be a jumble.. So Monday 400, Tuesday 100, Wednesday 200, Thursday 300, Friday 400. And exercise EVERYDAY.

Lets see if we cant get to 130lbs by next week. 129 maybe ;)

Friday, 19 June 2009

I Fucked Up

Im 133.5lbs today. Need to shift this half a pound by tomo.. Allowed 400cals today. Im in a bad mood, getting really angry over stupid things :/ I need to work out. Meh :(

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Im Feeling A Little Better I Guess

Only had my 300 cals today hooray. Still feeling down and fed up though. Supposed to be going out tomorrow but told everyone I cant go. I said I was skint, which I am, but also I dont really want to spoil things by drinking and tbh, Im not that much fun in this mood :/ WTF is wrong with me?! Getting my period maybe...?

Weight: 134lbs

ABC - Day 3 (Take 2 lol)
Intake: 300/300

Weight Loss Competition
Water: 8
Other: 2
TOTAL: 10 points

I Dont Feel Myself Today :/

Thanks for the support from everyone yesterday, it means so much to me :)

This morning I weighed and I am still 134lbs, which means I havent lost, but also I havent gained so that is very good !!

So, yesterday is gone and today is a new day, 300cals. So far: water.

Unfortunately I havent done any exercise :( My feet are really sore today and it hurts even to walk which sucks big time grr. Im feeling really depressed today, not myself. I dont know why. I burst into tears because I couldnt find a cup. Serious.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

I Dont Know :/

I went over my cal intake today. I dont even know by how much. So, I will attempt ABC Day 3- 300cals, again tomorrow. I really hope I havent gained, I havent eaten loads like a binge or anything but, aargh I dont know :(

Weight Loss Competition
Over Intake: -10
Exercise: 1
Water: 8
Other: 2
TOTAL: 1 .. Sorry orange team :(

Oh No

Arrgh, 25ocals Doughnut. WTF?! Grrr.. Im still allowed 50cals today but Im betting I go over :/ I may have to reattempt Day 3 ABC tomorrow...

-2 Since Yesterday

So Today I Am 134lbs !!!

Wow I cant believe it, I am very happy. I dont look any smaller tho.. In fact before weighing this morning I thought I may have gained cos I looked all chunky :/ But the scales say different :D

I burnt 178 cals on the treadmill, not for lack of procrastinating though!!! I did not want to exercise today, my feet are still sore and I am already bored with exercise... BUT it seems to be working so I HAVE to keep this up!!!!!

My intake allowance today is 300 cals. So far: Water :)

Tuesday, 16 June 2009


Weight: 136lbs

Intake: 500/500

Weight Loss Competition
Exercise: 7
Water: 8
TOTAL: 15 points

Blisters On My Feet :(

It really shows how little I exercise... I walked to town and back today, and now I can barely stand, my feet are so soreeee! It normally takes me about 45mins each way but it took me over an hour and a half in total today, but that is because of the heat, it is so hot today!!! I could hardly manage the walk back, it took me forever and I was boiling hot and hurting feet. Owwww.

But hey, Its all cals burned!! And I burned 179 on the treadmill before my walk too :)

AND my weight today is 136lbs again, so my binge weight has gone hooray!

I am allowed 500cals again today. Intake so far: banana 70cals (and lots of water!)

Monday, 15 June 2009


Weight: 139lbs

Intake: 500/500

Weight Loss Competition
Exercise: 3
Water: 8
Other: 3
TOTAL: 14 points

So, my first day of ABC and the weight loss competition has gone pretty well. I did 20mins on the treadmill, and went for a half hour run outside, which is more exercise than i would normally do in a week (I havent always been this lazy of course). Tomorrow I plan to walk to town and back, about an hour both ways, maybe a little less. And maybe treadmill again OR another run (or both haha but I think that is a little optimistic..). I have eaten an apple, ryvita x2, and a prawn salad with a little bit of couscous and sweetcorn. Still too much, but within my calorie limit today, and my intake is going down down down. I hope I have lost a little by tomorrow, and my tummy goes down a bit. It is still so swollen for this weekend. I look pregnant, its not good.

Run Run Run

I really need to get the hang of this blog thing, I just managed to delete a whole post before clicking publish and no idea how?!!!!!

Just burned 175cals on the treadmill in 20mins. Feeling nice and fit.. haha. Unfortunately, not looking very fit. I can feel my weight gain.. My clothes are tight >:(

Day 1 - ABC - 500cals. Intake so far: Water. Trying to kick this hangover out of my head. Boom boom boom. Bad times. I dont drink often.

Going for a run later (Yes, in public!). Need to burn this fat. BURN BURN BURN.


Waking up with a hangover and 3lb gain. How depressing.

And So Day 1 Has Begun...

Im dreading weighing in the morning. I have eaten so so sooooooooooooooooooooo much this weekend and not sure how it happened. Ive been drinking too... liquid cals what a waste. A good night though. Dreading weighing tomorrow :(

Saturday, 13 June 2009

I Feel... Sad :(

I cant wait to start ABC Monday and start shifting this weight.

I went out with some friends last night. It was good but not good also. I came home feeling really sad and cried all night.

I hate being me. I want to be someone who does not love and who does not feel. It hurts too much.

I have ordered Nikki Grahemes autobiography, all about her struggle with anorexia. Hopefully it will be some thinspiration/motivation for me during the next few weeks.

Thursday, 11 June 2009


Remember I said that yesterday I ate so badly and so much and will have gained weight? Well, today I am 135lbs... WTF?! Not that Im complaining but man, my body is screwed up. I can binge and lose, yet starve and gain. I can't predict my body anymore, this is a little scary, but in todays case very good :)

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

I Forgot..

I should probably give you guys some stats. I am 5'7 and this morning I was 136lbs (although I will be much more than that now, I have eaten a lot today.. grr)

Ana Boot Camp

My name is Angel and I will be using this site to track my progress on ABC. I am going on holiday in less than 50 days, and so wont be able to complete the whole plan, but I want to follow it as best I can until then. Also, Its 25 days until I go holiday shopping, which is the half-way point, and I want to have lost a fair amount by then.

I have followed this diet before, although it became too difficult after about 30 days and I never managed to complete it. I have attempted it since but have never gotten past the first week. But I need to do this, and I know I can. I have done it before, I can do it again.

Also, I need to start exercising more. I am so damn lazy these days :(

Anyway, I will be starting on Monday with 500cals, so wish me luck and I invite you to follow me on my journey. I would be very grateful for support, and please no haters - this is my choice. (If you can call 6yrs of eating problems a choice that is!)

Comment me, I'd like to make some new friends xXx