failed another driving test
failed
failure
thats me
drunk way too much
drown sorrows pahhh like i could
fuckin failure
fucking waste of space
thats me

I appear to have come to a stand still. My weight is balancing at 132lbs.. Feeling as though it could just tip over and become 140 overnight or something devastating like that :/ I dont feel in control at all. I am eating too much and yet I feel as though I am not eating at all. I go on holidays in a week. Im too fat. What am I gna do? :(

I havent weighed today, but yesterday my intake was 100 and today my intake has been 405.
I will weigh tomorrow and hope I will have lost a little (or a lot!!! lol)
Ive done most of my holiday shopping, less than two weeks to go now!! But I do seem to have suddenly ended up with more clothes than I could ever need... haha :/
It will be the first time I have ever worn a bikini. Woah. So I very much need to lose lose lose!!!
I start driving lessons again tomorrow, I am kinda nervous. I can drive, but make stupid mistakes sometimes cos I am so worried about getting everything right. I need to pass my test this has been dragging on way too long.
Im off out tonight, the weather is too nice to be stuck in. Just diet coke for me and then by the time I get home it will be gone midnight so no food til tomorrow :)

How is everyone doing? Sorry I have been so off track lately :(

9 Stone 9 lbs (135lbs)
Wouldnt it be so much easier not to regain the weight I lose?? :(
Oh, and I know I wasnt going to weigh but... Well :/

binge binge fucking binge fucking failure fat fat getting fatter and fatter whoever said i was their inspiration better find another one i am a disgusting pig and i hate that i have lost control

11th July : 100 calories
12th July : 400 calories
13th July : 300 calories
14th July : 200 calories
15th July : 300 calories
16th July : 400 calories
17th July : 200 calories
18th July : 150 calories
19th July : 200 calories
20th July : 500 calories
21st July : 350 calories
22nd July : 250 calories

Three Day Binge

Food Hangover.
No More.
Never.
Fuck.
I feel sick sick sick.
Disgusting.
Bread Hangover. Worst ever.

So, In response to Sundays binge, I, of course, binged all of Monday too. Grrrrrrrrr :(
Today I havent eaten anything so far.
I dont really have a plan anymore, other than DONT FUCKING EAT. Pretty simple huh.
500 cals limit on everyday, maximum.
And no weighing, for like a week. I cant bear to see the big numbers.